tomatoes are delicious

Happy Canada Day!

2007-07-01T17:24:00.000-07:00

p.s. Beware of Jewish-Canadian Ex-Lawyers Speaking Greek.

Yahoo Wants To Know When I'm Drunk And Still In A Hat

2007-02-12T16:19:00.000-08:00

Yahoo announced today that it's coming out with an IM program embedded in its regular email, an innovation that means users will no longer have to toggle out of one program and into another should they wish to use both simultaneously (which, as any inveterate web-addict knows, is rough on the wrists). It's an innovation, note, that was pioneered by Gmail in their Gchat program, to which this blogger has become a slavering devotee (though we have more than once found ourselves confronted with its various privacy issues). Why is it so great? Because it's EASY - providing a quick way to get information/make contact while permitting easy back-and-forth between email. It is the ADD-afflicted multitasker's dream. (And those taglines can be really, really fun.) So, it's smart of Yahoo to be ripping it off. Yahoo also recently made the smart move of re-jiggering their (previously frustratingly inefficient) email program along the lines of Outlook, allowing for quickie categorization, sorting and searching. One drawback, however: It staggers under the load of many messages, making it near-impossible to re-sort for those of us who have long abandoned our Yahoo accounts and long despaired of ever cleaning them out. The new interface would be ideal for the quickie cleanup, if only it didn't take forever to load.

In other news, MTV clips will soon be embeddable, no doubt in a move to cash in on a little of that sweet YouTube action. Here's the thing about Gchat (read: Google) and YouTube (read: Google) — they're both way out front on both these points, and continuing to innovate while their competitors play catch up. I say "their" but of course it's "its" — the All-Powerful Monolithic Globe-Straddling Power that is Google.

In the meantime, for those who are interested, my Gchat tagline currently reads "waffles!" (Explanation here.)

Poems Are Made By Fools Like Me

2007-02-03T10:05:00.000-08:00

...but only God can make a Marriage Japanese Dwarf tree.

Yes, but I got TWO mugs!

2006-10-19T22:09:00.000-07:00

"In lieu of payment, B-listers receive coffee mugs with a show's logo."

The above is in reference to my occasional appearances on MSNBC's "Scarborough Country." The mugs are shiny red with white lettering, because Joe loves Canada. Catch me here, on the Friday night of Labor Day weekend!

Meanwhile, Rush Limbaugh has no clue who I am. I must be doing something right!

The Chicken Pox, With Silver Lining

2006-10-14T23:18:00.000-07:00

It's true, I have the chicken pox, and I'd be lying if I said it was pleasant and un-itchy. But - there is a plus side: I'm home on a Saturday night, with nothing better to do than watch this. And I'd be lying if I said that wasn't kinda awesome.

(Also kinda awesome: The fact that there's a nun in this scene. Comedy gold!)

(Also: I got your stamen right here. Okay, I'm done now.)

September 11, 2006

2006-09-11T19:23:00.000-07:00

Five years later. A lot of coverage today, and by now a lot of newsreels and documentaries and films to commemorate the occassion. Watching it brings it all back; hard to remember, but harder to forget.

Tomato Season

2006-07-16T08:45:00.000-07:00

If it's not already obvious, Tomatoes Are Delicious is on a bit of a hiatus owing to the fact that I've been spending all my time on "Eat The Press" at HuffPo. It's HuffPo's daily media blog with media commentary and news, spin, stats and our famous and exciting People Ranker ™ — I'm really proud of it but getting it up and running has taken all my time over the past six weeks or so. I've probably driven you all away already (et tu, Wapella, Saskatchewan?) but hopefully you've got this on RSS and won't forget about me while I exhaust the blogging beast over at HuffPo. That sounds far sexier than it actually is. In any case, please check out Eat The Press and of course feel free to send me any tips/suggestions, especially for the People Ranker which is a deliciously addictive little toy. All right, back to work for me - if it's Sunday, it's Russert Watch. Oh Tim, I'd take your oversized noggin over strolling lazily in the sunshine any day. Hope you are all having a fantastic summer - Tomatoes will be back in season soon, I promise!

Buy A Plant. Now.

2006-05-30T23:22:00.000-07:00

In fact, buy two - and then go buy an acre of rainforest, and throw away the keys to your car. Yesterday I saw Al Gore's documentary "An Inconvenient Truth" and was utterly blown away. Gore crunches the data in all sorts of different ways and again and again comes up with one conclusion: the planet is headed for disaster, and it's one of our own making. C02 levels are at astronomical heights, tornadoes and hurricanes are increasing in frequency and intensity, and chunks of land-based ice sheets are breaking off into the ocean, swelling the waters massively - and dangerously (where will you be when sea level rises 20 feet? You'd better hope not in L.A. or Manhattan) (actually, you'd be almost lucky; you wouldn't be in coastal India). Those snows of Kilimanjaro? Virtually gone. Like us, if we don't do something drastic, now.

"Oh, reeeaaaaally?" says the skeptic as he guns his Hummer, tosses his cigarette butt out the window and gleefully plots how he'll throw out his recyclable beer can with the trash. Yes, actually. Really. Per New York magazine film critic David Edelstein:

Perhaps the most amazing statistic in An Inconvenient Truth is that of 900-plus peer-reviewed studies in recognized journals, not one has challenged the idea of global warming, whereas more than 53 percent of articles in the mainstream media have presented it as a theory or been careful to include the demurrals of a tiny handful of bought-and-paid-for scientists or politicians. In the course of Gore’s lecture tour comes the unsurprising news that Bush aide Philip Cooney routinely red-penciled the conclusions of impartial government scientists; when exposed, he resigned and took a job with ExxonMobil.

Did you catch that? Over nine HUNDRED scientists assessed the data and agreed that the planet was on the brink of man-made calamity. Who doesn't agree: the oil stooge hired by the White House to doctor environmental reports in favor of...oil companies. As Edelstein says of the film: "Watch closely to see who attacks it and on what grounds."

The mosquito line in Africa, rising. Polar bears swimming in search of receding ice, drowning. People sweltering through record heat waves last summer, dying. Hurricanes whipping into a frenzy over warm waters. Those waters, ever-warming. Moment after chilling, terrifying moment, the very real doom of the planet is laid out clearly (think "Ice Age." Right. Now, think of the reverse. Hot enough for ya?). As the trailer says bluntly: "Nothing is scarier than the truth." I'll go one step further: It's fucking terrifying.

See this movie. And seriously, buy that plant.

Live from New York, it's Bucky Turco!

2006-05-22T23:11:00.000-07:00

God bless Bucky Turco, Animal's hilariously intrepid everywhere-you-look reporter-about-town. The dude is anyplace there's a story, from 2 a.m. during the transit strike to the bloody,mutilated Santa of Christmas past to slippy, slidey Snapple accidents to anything relating to grafitti. In short, Bucky is everywhere, and everywhere is better for it.

(Disclosure: I'm a big ol' Bucky fan - we bonded over email when I was at Fishbowl, as per those links above. Happy to laud his reportorial flair yet again.)

Anyhow, I am LOVING this pic because I am a big fan of the crack SNL women and get a kick of seeing themn out together - Maya Rudolph, Amy Poehler and cute little Rachel Dratch peeking out next to Bucky's giant head. I learned the phrase "six ways to Sunday" from Rachel Dratch. See more of Bucky's pictures here. I should say, however, that this is in no way indicative of my having changed my position on Macs.

p.s. Here's Maya's mama, Minnie Ripperton, singing her classic "Lovin' You" (you know the la-la-la-la-la's and if you don't then I'm old). Also, here she is getting attacked by a lion.

The name is Ralks. Lehcar Ralks.

2006-05-18T16:45:00.000-07:00

For some strange reason, this is the most emailed story in the New York Times today. It's a pretty name but it makes me think of hand cream.

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!

2006-05-14T09:15:00.000-07:00

I am busy writing up today's edition of RussertWatch for HuffPo, but I wanted to take a moment to tell my mom that I love her, because she rules. I love you Mom! You rule! Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers out there. FYI, giving birth to the rest of you was apparently REALLY painful. So go buy flowers.

I Want Someone To Smell Cheese With

2006-05-13T10:50:00.000-07:00

Apparently this one's giving Chanel No. 5 a run for its money.

(Jeff Garlin gives a shout-out to us, we give him one right back.)

Ahem

2006-05-08T09:36:00.000-07:00

"But mainly its appeal lies in Bob Martin, who plays Man in Chair with the easy offhandedness and perfect timing that seem to be dispensed with Canadian passports."
— Jeremy McCarter, New York Magazine, May 15, 2006 issue

Liza With A Zed, Part II

2006-05-08T00:26:00.000-07:00

Last Monday night I had the opportunity to see the incredibly delightful and fantastically clever and totally winsome new Broadway Musical (and not-as-new-Canadian musical) "The Drowsy Chaperone". I loved it as much as I hate Ben Brantley (yes yes, Ben Brantley, we're very impressed that you have the bestest knowledge of 1920's musicals, you must be MUCH smarter than all the sophisticated theatergoers in the audience on opening night who laughed uproariously the whole way through, because, you know, they had "no choice but to applaud." Whatever. The show was smart and fresh and unexpected and transporting. I have no choice but to call you an idiot).

In any case, I had one hell of a sighting: LIZA! Not only working her charm and magic down the red carpet (very amusing to see a no-name starlet hanging back after her, knowing that not a single camera would care if she walked right past), but laughing and blowing kisses and posing with the writers. Even cooler, I actually MET her in the one bastion of privacy in any public place: the ladies' room (we were the only two people at the mirror, it would have been rude NOT to say something). She looked great and was chatty and friendly. In any case, she said she was a huge fan of the show and was a big supporter, also showing up at the after party and being very nice to people who didn't have the temerity to accost her in the bathroom. Upshot: Liza loves Canadians. Ergo, zed.

Here's more vid of Liza hugging Aubrey Reuben, whom theater fans will know from his own star turn in the New Yorker.

There is TOTALLY gonna be cake in the conference room tomorrow

2006-05-01T00:15:00.000-07:00

This is just a little bit of AWESOME: Arianna Huffington, rockin' the Time Magazine 100 list of "People Who Shape Our World." And also, my boss.

p.s. There's no conference room per se at the HuffPo office, but saying "there is totally going to be cake around the oblong white table in the kitchen part" doesn't have quite the same ring.

Tribecalicious!

2006-04-24T01:29:00.000-07:00

The Tribeca Film Fest is launching Tuesday and I'm coordinating HuffPo's coverage, which will be awesome because I've tapped some awesome people to help with it. I know these tomatoes have been withering on the vine but if you check out HuffPo there will be cool TFF updates every day. Regular-ish posting will resume after the fest, and possibly before if I am struck by inspiration and/or time. I just had a mental image of me being bonked in the head by a clock, and it made me giggle. Get it? Struck by time? Yes, you really are going to miss me.

(A clock! Time! On the noggin! Ouch!)

Yikes

2006-04-19T23:27:00.000-07:00

I knew I would catch heat for this. NB: I definitely did NOT say that White House press secretary was a good job - honestly, it looks like a giant churning ulcer waiting to happen. Well, we'll see how this all plays out. In the meantime, maybe I should stick to writing about American Idol.

Game, set and match to the kid in the fancy apartment!

2006-04-18T18:52:00.000-07:00

Wow, two thumbs up to Loren Kreiss, the not-unwealthy kid profiled in the NYT Real Estate section and predictably lambasted on Gawker. (NB: As usual, I blame the NYT and its obsession with class and money). In subsequent items, however, Gawker started coming around, lauding his actual-workingness, and throwing in some Spanish. Today they put him on the spot with a game of Ten Questions, and he performed brilliantly, with a perfect mix of candour and self-deprecating quippery (plus managing to make me misty for a travertine console. So that's where I could put my keys!). Maybe it's just the ghostwritten wisdom of a publicist, but he plays the game like a pro, throwing appreciative props to the NYT and to Gawker commenters, bringing wealth and privilege back to family and hard work, adroitly skirting the $6,000-per-month rent issue, making his Mom sound cool, and showing humility in the face of Swedo-hegemony. Throw in a bit of raunch at the end and you've got a winner, especially paired with this kind of level-headed gentle-hearted blue-state attitude:

First off, I don’t consider being called gay an insult, and of course I see how people would make assumptions. I wouldn’t have moved to Chelsea and worked in the interior design business if I wasn’t comfortable in my sexuality. I also wouldn’t be ashamed if I were gay, the truth just happens to be that I’m straight. Sorry if that’s disappointing to your readers.

And THAT, Jared Paul Stern, is how one makes good use of Gawker.

Love and Taxes

2006-04-18T12:40:00.000-07:00

Happy Day-After Tax Day! Hope you're all getting a big fat refund, or at least can add. I tried to post this yesterday but had to figure out the video code (read: ask someone) so I'm a bit laste, but no doubt the memory of yesterday's fun-and-form-filled day of stress is still fresh. To celebrate, and because you already know that these I think these guys are funny, here is a thematic video from my pals at Party Central USA. Enjoy!

Forestalling the Journey to the Heaviside Layer*

2006-04-15T12:56:00.000-07:00

Look, a new day
Has begun...

(Hooray! Molly the Cat is free!)

* Though I'm guessing this probably didn't help: "I hear you, sweetheart," the therapist, Carole Wilbourn, cooed. "Come on, Molly, you can do it. Everybody wants you to come out. Nobody's going to hurt you." This is that person's job.

**Thanks to Dania for the spellchecking and this helpful info!

One more reason to love Tina Fey

2006-04-14T17:38:00.000-07:00

"I honestly think I'm not working any harder than any working mom anywhere else," she said, seriously. "I'm at least getting to work on things that are exciting and fun."

Yes, we have no bananas

2006-04-11T17:45:00.000-07:00

...we have no bananas today!

(We do, however, have blog synchornicity. I swear to God this was a total coincidence. Ironically, I've had the "Yes, We Have No Tomatoes" post in draft since Saturday, and was going to offer a few paltry links instead except was annoyed to find that I couldn't do so on a Mac. So instead I decided to complain about Macs. Don't feel bad for me; think of all those people without bananas).

Yes, we have no tomatoes

2006-04-11T14:22:00.000-07:00

I know it's verboten to apologize for light posting, but while I get into the swing of things at HuffPo I may not have the time to put my half-baked ideas into half-baked posts (I have about five to ten posts languishing in drafts right now). My bad, please forgive and continue to rejoice in the delight of yummy fruity juicy tomatoe-y goodness in the reality-based community (i.e. in the kitchens and restaurants of your world) and I will endeavor to match that with on-line deliciousness in the near-ish future.

I'm gonna wash that national newspaper right outta my hair

2006-04-09T23:07:00.000-07:00

Seriously. Why am I still reading idiotic statements like this in the New York Times?

"And isn't it a truth universally acknowledged that a single woman would sooner give up her colorist than her doorman?"

Sadly, this is not an idiotic quote by an idiotic source, it is a failed attempt to be witty by the author of an article on the value and appeal of New York City doormen (Harvey Mansfield has some ideas about doormen. He loves his colorist, too!).

What's with the NYT's hair-color fixation these days? Both of these articles speak to a New York experience that is definitely not universal; not everyone chooses to eschew doormen buildings because they don't feel like saying hi when they walk in, and - shocker - not every single woman has a colorist, needs a colorist, can pay for a colorist, or has the time to sit for three hours while being tended to by a colorist. So please, NYT, stop making these assumptions and parading them as universal experience. Your roots are showing.

p.s. So are mine, above; that pic was taken in mid-Feb/05 after having blonded (double process! Woo-hoo) in late Nov/04. I finally got around to dyeing it back to brown in late May/05. Classy!

Who blogs on Macs?

2006-04-09T00:01:00.000-07:00

Seriously, help me out here. Is it me, or is blogging on Macs a ginormous pain in the ass? I'm doing it right now so don't expect any links, because the command icons don't show up here (and while I do love you, far-flung readers mine, I am so not hand-coding at 3:02 am). That happened the last time I tried to blog on a Mac, with Movable Type (that was a G4; this is a MacPro. So I'm surmising this is a system-wide problem). Also: links. How do you capture them? There's no such thing as right-clicking on a Mac! So if you want to link (as I do, 'cause that's the kind of girl I am), you have to open a new window (but not open IN a new window, 'cause that requires right-clicking!), then copy the URL, paste it into Blogger, and then hand-type in the link code around it. So much for blogging as a nimble, responsive medium. I'm sure Macs are lovely for things like photoshop and iMovie and whatnot, and I love the cute little shiny white ones, but come on! This makes no sense.

So I'll ask again: who blogs on Macs? Because if there are secret little tricks I don't know, I'd love to learn them. And if not, I'd like to let Mac-bloggers know that there is an easier way.

p.s. The timestamp shows up three hours early, btw. I'd change it but guess what? The button doesn't show up on Macs! Grrr.

UPDATE: I learned some VERY helpful new things: (1) Holding the "CTRL" key down and clicking is the Mac equivalent of right-clicking, which made doing this much easier; and (2) Apparently if you download Mozilla Firefox the icon keys become visible (this I did not try - I hand-coded all my links. Becaus I care, dammit).

Friday is such a slow news day

2006-04-07T09:33:00.000-07:00

HOLY GUACAMOLE.

"Inching eternally off into the infinite Euclidean freespace of the grid"

2006-04-05T08:23:00.000-07:00

The first blog I ever read was Clive Thompson's Collision Detection, an awesome science/tech/cool-stuff blog where he waxes smart n' funny on matters relating to giant squids, spam-bots, UFOs, and regularly writes things like "the first hydrostatically bipedal octopus ever discovered is now inspiring the design of cephalopodic robotics." Also, Clive Thompson is Canadian.

I post on this topic not only because the post referenced in the title evidences an astronimical geek-quotient, off the charts even for Clive, but also because I love strict poetic forms too, as evidenced by this and this. And, let's face it, Spock sells.

Related:
Best Blog To Make You Seem Smarter At Cocktail Parties [Village Voice]

I was particularly proud of "Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy"

2006-04-04T23:46:00.000-07:00

There is nothing more wonderful than having an excellent, excellent reason to make multiple Queen references.

If any of you are HuffPo commenters (or want to be!) head on over and rock me some Queen refs in the comments section - I'd love to see what other people can do with the many classics I missed, like this and this and this and this and this and this and this (and this).

p.s. I got another one: "To avoid complications, she never kept the same address" — that one goes out to Ann Coulter.

Memo to Howard Kurtz

2006-04-03T15:15:00.000-07:00

...from John Burns:

"Only those who have experienced that kind of terror can fairly judge what it takes to survive it."

I will not throw up all over the New York Times. I will not throw up all over the New York Times.

2006-04-03T13:23:00.000-07:00

"People check you out, and if you have black roots and your hair is fried, it doesn't matter that you're carrying a Bottega bag."

For the record, this is the first I have ever heard of a Bottega bag.
It is not the first I've heard of getting one's hair dyed, highlighted, lowlighted, brightened, lightented, or otherwise touched up by a colorist's deft hand. That's cool, go crazy, look your best, feel good and have fun. But there are limits. And 2,393 words on the subject more than pushes them.

p.s. Number of words allocated to South Dakota state senator Bill Napoli's recent statements on abortion: Still zero.

2 a.m.? We don't need no stinkin' 2 a.m.

2006-04-02T03:22:00.000-07:00

Set your clocks - daylight savings time starts tonight, when the hour between 2 and 3 a.m. disappears into shadowy nothingness. Which means we're all going to be an hour more tired tomorrow and that much more productive on Monday. On the bright side, Sunday morning talk show guests will probably be more cranky, so maybe they'll say something interesting. Or maybe Eleanor Clift will bonk Tony Blankely on the head. You know she wants to.

UPDATE: Funny - I had written this on April 1st, but then manually changed the timestamp to 2:22 am for a meta-punchline. I just noticed this morning that Blogger had changed it automatically to 3:22 am. I just changed it back, let's see if it sticks.

Sundried Tomatoes That Slither Into Your Bathtub Are Delicious

2006-03-30T14:52:00.000-08:00

I mean, am I wrong? Don't they look juicy and yummy, garnishing your salad or a nice pasta? This helps me not be squishily freaked out by this movie. These nuggets from the Yahoo! movie page also help: (1) There is a character named Grant Grant; (2) apparently the heroes "come face-to-face with an older-than-time organism intent on absorbing and devouring all life on Earth" (which is hard core); and (3) the movie was shot in Vancouver. Yay Canada!

FANTASTIC NEWS!

2006-03-30T09:19:00.000-08:00

Jill Carroll has been released. Wow. There IS good news from Iraq! This is a great day.

The Left and Right agree: plagiarism is bad

2006-03-30T00:51:00.000-08:00

Here's a link to my latest post on HuffPo today, wherein I celebrate the union of the Left and Right in denouncing plagiarism. Tomato-watchers may notice that it went up briefly here and then I took it down - I drafted it in Blogger because the type is easier to read in draft than on the HuffPo system, where it is very small. I know there is a way to fix it but I haven't yet figured it out.

I also call Jack Shafer on his assertion that critics of WaPo online editor Jim Brady were specifically criticizing him for not pre-screening Ben Domenech for plagiarism (it seemed to me that critics wondered what of Domenech's earlier work qualified him to fairly counteract Dan Froomkin, and they also criticized the assumption that Froomkin needed to be counteracted). I noted that Shafer's two links did not, in fact, provide evidence that the blogosphere was dinging Brady for the non-plagiarism check. In the comments section to the post, someone says that no, plenty of people were, in fact, doing said dinging for the said non-pre-check. I say, sure, but that's for Shafer to prove. In the blogosphere, if you're going to assert it, you gots to link to it. If that paragraph made any sense to you at all, I will be very surprised.

This Is The Line That Will Break A Thousand Sox-Fan Hearts

2006-03-26T21:15:00.000-08:00

"In the driveway of Johnny Damon's boyhood Orlando home, his father's Honda Odyssey still sports a Red Sox bumper sticker. 'I have to change that,' says Jimmy Damon. 'I keep forgetting.'"
— New York Magazine, April 3, 2006

Aw.

Gigantic huge honking girlcrush on Lara Logan

2006-03-26T20:46:00.000-08:00

LARA LOGAN ROCKS!

Girlfriend smacks it down on Howie Kurtz, Laura Ingraham and all the media hatas something fierce:

KURTZ: ...But critics would say, well, no wonder people back home think things are falling apart because we get this steady drumbeat of negativity from the correspondents there.

LOGAN: Well, who says things aren't falling apart in Iraq? I mean, what you didn't see on your screens this week was all the unidentified bodies that have been turning up, all the allegations here of militias that are really controlling the security forces.

What about all the American soldiers that died this week that you didn't see on our screens? I mean, we've reported on reconstruction stories over and over again, but the [official responsible] for Iraqi reconstruction says that only 49 of well over 100 planned electricity projects happened.

So we can't keep doing the same stories over and over again. When a police station's attacked, that's something new that happened this week. If you had any idea of the number of Iraqis that come to us with stories of abuses of U.S. soldiers and you look at our coverage over the last -- my coverage over the last few weeks, or even over the last three years, there's been maybe two or three stories that have related to that.

So, I mean, we have to do the stories that when we've tested them and tested them and checked all our sources, and that they are legitimate stories on that day, that that is the biggest news coming out of Iraq, then that's what we have to do.

KURTZ: So what you're saying...

LOGAN: I mean, I really resent the fact that people say that we're not reflecting the true picture here. That's totally unfair and it's really unfounded.

KURTZ: So what you're saying is that what we see on the "CBS Evening News" or other networks actually is only a snapshot, is only perhaps scratching the surface of the kinds of violence and difficulties that you are witnessing day after day because you can only get so much of this on the air?

LOGAN: Oh, yes. Absolutely. And, I mean, our own -- you know, our own editors back in New York are asking us the same things.

They read the same comments. You know, are there positive stories? Can't you find them?

You don't think that I haven't been to the U.S. military and the State Department and the embassy and asked them over and over again, let's see the good stories, show us some of the good things that are going on? Oh, sorry, we can't take to you that school project, because if you put that on TV, they're going to be attacked about, the teachers are going to be killed, the children might be victims of attack.

Oh, sorry, we can't show this reconstruction project because then that's going to expose it to sabotage. And the last time we had journalists down here, the plant was attacked.

I mean, security dominates every single thing that happens in this country. Reconstruction funds have been diverted to cover away from reconstruction to -- they've been diverted to security.

Soldiers, their lives are occupied most of the time with security issues. Iraqi civilians' lives are taken up most of the time with security issues.

So how it is that security issues should not then dominate the media coverage coming out of here?

I mean, BRAVA! I can't explain the combination of exhilaration and pride I felt first reading the transcript, then watching the segment. Here's where she smacks down Laura Ingraham for dissing journos in Iraq for only "reporting from hotel balconies."

LOGAN: Well, I think it's outrageous. I mean, Laura Ingraham should come to Iraq and not be talking about what journalists are doing from the comfort of her studio in the United States, the comfort and the safety.

I mean, I don't know any journalist that wants to just sit in a hotel room in Iraq. Does anybody understand that for us we used to be able to drive to Ramadi, we used to drive to Falluja, we used to drive to Najaf. We could travel all over this country without having to fly in military helicopters.

That's the only way we can move around here. So, it's when the military can accommodate us, if the military can accommodate us, then we can go out and see.

I have been out with Iraqi security forces over and over again. And you know what? When Bob Woodruff was out with Iraqi security forces and he was injured, the first thing that people were asking was, oh, was he being responsible by placing himself in this position with Iraqi forces? And they started to question his responsibility and integrity as a journalist.

I mean, we just can't win. I think it's an outrage to point the finger at journalists and say that this is our fault. I really do. And I think it shows an abject lack of respect for any journalist that's prepared to come to this country and risk their lives.

KURTZ: All right. I do...

LOGAN: And that's not just me. That's the crews, that's all the people that make up our teams here.

KURTZ: I do want to point out that Laura Ingraham was in Iraq last month for eight days, and that was part of the reason for her appearance.

Lara Logan, stay with us. I want to bring...

LOGAN: For eight days.

Did you hear that, Cheney? Did you hear that, Rummy? How do you like them apples, Harvey Mansfield? Three cheers for Lara Logan, reporting live from Baghdad.

Transcript here, video here. Her words are so powerful that you're not even distracted by how drop-dead beautiful she is.

What's nu?

2006-03-23T23:48:00.000-08:00

It's official: I'm writing a book. As reported in Publisher's Marketplace and Arianna's lovely welcome post at HuffPo, I'll be working on JEW-ISH, the essential guide to shiksas, latkes, and why there are so many ways to spell Chanukah. Oh, you already knew all that, big shot? Yes yes, you're very smart. Now go call your mother.*

Actually, in addition to being a primer on all things Jewy it will hopefully be an exploration of why being Jewish matters nowadays and what qualities define being Jewish to the world and to ourselves, like identifying strongly with Israel or Larry David or ordering very specifically in a restaurant. What? We like things how we like them.

In addition to basic info ("The Bible in 500 words or less!")(NB: One of those will probably be "smote") I'll be talking to plenty of people about what makes them Jew-ish. So far I have discovered that many Jews have opinions. Yes, I am breaking new ground with this one. Other fun topics will include Why Our Parents Still Wish We Were Doctors, The Purpose of Shabbes Goys (and what to do with them for the rest of the week, wakka wakka) and The Jewfro: Oy, There Goes My Blowout. Also addressed: "There are Jews in Canada?"

I am extremely excited about this project and extremely grateful to HarperCollins, baruch hashem, and to my Jew-licious agent Kate Lee. I am also grateful that I get to write off my trip home for Pesach this year. Woo hoo, Toronto, I'm afi-komen home! Eek. That one maybe crossed the line.

*Yes, I know the "call your mother" joke was used in the announcement and Gawker etc. So sue me (not that I'd advise it, seeing as I once brought my parents much nachas by becoming a lawyer).

Every little bit counts

2006-03-22T20:39:00.000-08:00

I've taken my crusade against slimy Senator Bill Napoli to the Huffington Post, where I reiterated my surprise at how the fetishized violence of his, er, "justification for abortion" has caused nary a ripple at the major news outlets. I was also happy to provide readers with a link to Sen. Napoli's contact information via the helpful South Dakota Legislature webiste — and happier to learn that by 4pm today his contact information had been removed from the site. Chekkit here: Napoli no more. Which is pretty freakin' awesome, because it means that the message has gotten through (check out a few of the emails dropped by HuffPo readers in the comments to my post. Awesome). Thanks to those who read and emailed, and thanks to those who won't let this thing go just because the news cycle has left it behind. Power to the people, baby. Love it.

p.s. Our Zeitgeist-Tracking Google Search for "sodomized as bad as you can possibly make it" is now at 16,800. Ha - make that 16,801.

The Zeitgeist, Tapped

2006-03-20T19:38:00.000-08:00

I just went to my original "Tapping Into The Zeitgeist" post to see how many hits the "sodomized as bad as you can possibly make it" Google search was up to. Thanks to the amazing guys at Wonkette (including guest-star sub-in DCeiver), who publicized South Dakota Senator Bill Napoli's hateful, sickening comments not once but twice, the Google hits are now up from the original 757 on March 13th to...are you ready...drumroll, please....15,000!!!!!

That is SO huge. The power of the internet! I'm grinning like a fool. How cool is that? HOORAY! New York Times and Washington Post, take note: this IS a story. Time to acknowledge it.

Tapping into the Zeitgeist [Tomatoes Are Delicious]

Tallinn, Harjumaa, Estonia

2006-03-20T11:44:00.000-08:00

This merits an update — since my last post on the subject, the international community agrees: Tomatoes ARE delicious! I'm giddy with joy to welcome my reader from Tallinn, Estonia (where I will forever regret not visiting when I lived in Stockholm) and also my brand-new friends from the following international cities (and provinces/principalities/states, helpfully provided by Sitemeter, which has so much to teach us):

BELGIUM: Mortsel, Antwerpen (is that Flemish or, um, Twerpish?)
MALAYSIA: Kuala Lumpur, Wilayah Persekutuan
CZECH REPUBLIC: Prague, Hlavni Mesto Praha
AUSTRALIA: Chullora, New South Wales
UK: Leeds (where The Who once played live)
JORDAN: Amman (or a woman, har har)
ISRAEL: Undisclosed location, but look at that! Readers from Jordan and Israel, united by tomato-love! Could we have stumbled on a diplomatic solution?
CANADA: Downsview, Ontario (Hey! Could you stop by Pancer's and pick me up a pastrami on rye?)
USA: Mountain View, California (oh, Google. I love watching you watch me. But now you can't pretend that you didn't know about this.)

By the way, if these hits are being generated by some auto-bot international web-crawler thing, please don't tell me. I will be crushed. I'm happy being at the center of my own little United Nations, even if it's just in my mind.

WELCOME CITIZENS OF EARTH!

(God, I really hope my humour translates. Person from Amman, please understand that that's just my way of making a joke.)

When does the fun start, again?

2006-03-20T01:35:00.000-08:00

From Sunday's New York Times business feature, already #1 on the Most-Emailed List:"Why Do So Few Women Reach the Top of Big Law Firms?":

Ms. Matthai said that conditions for women had improved a good deal over the last 30 years, but added: "We have a long way to go. It's my dream that more women will stick it out in the law until they get to the fun part, and it just breaks my heart to see them giving up the dream."

The speaker, Los Angeles County Bar Association President Edith Matthai, misses the point: if they're not "sticking it out" until they get to "the fun part," it's probably because "the part before the fun part" kind of sucks (some might call it a soul-straining, spirit-breaking nightmare of stress, pressure, all-nighters, mind-numbing work and erosion of an outside life, but why get into specifics?).

I was glad to see that the NYT didn't fall back on its usual pet — and pat — rationales that women either (a) are going into the workforce with a plan to opt out; (b) get into the workforce and decide to opt out; or (c) really really tried but just aren't capable of doing it all, so they opt out. Still, I think it would have behooved the author to actually interview young associates — female and male — to see what they actually think (Ms. Matthai's experience notwithstanding, I'd rather hear a young associate explain firsthand why it's not worth "sticking it out" at a law firm). AK at Penguins On The Equator makes a good point, namely that "most of the lifestyle problems at firms likewise present difficulties for male lawyers who want a fulfilling family life or social life outside the confines of the office" — see that played out thoughtfully at Opinionistas (who is an expert in the lifestyle challenges of law firm life!), in a telling conversation with a male co-worker.

As for the gender divide, well, I can say from my own experience that there certainly doesn't have to be a difference between the male and female experience, but there usually is. This does not mean that women can't have a fulfilling and enjoyable career; I can think of a whole bunch of whipsmart, happy, balanced, productive and successful lawyers amongst my female friends. But, that doesn't mean that there aren't certain challenges, or situations where suddenly you feel your head smack into a heretofore-unseen glass ceiling. Again, it doesn't mean you can't crash through it, if you want to; I just know a few other women who didn't want to fight that hard (NB: we're talking about law firms here. I know plenty of women — and men — who have gone one to happy, fruitful careers in-house). I'm just saying that it can be rough: my most enthusiastic and gung-ho lawyer friend, a mid-level associate at a midtown Manhattan law firm, has spent the past three weeks straight in the office, round the clock, sneaking furtive catnaps under his desk as more assignments come his way. He's on track for a 300+ hour month of March. Opinionistas has more stories like that (this is a good starting point). If firms are serious about retaining good people, they should pay attention to stories like these — and if the New York Times is serious about finding out why young female associates are dropping out on the way to the corner office, it should just ask them.

UPDATE: Opinionista weighs in.

Shout-out to Wapella, Saskatchewan!

2006-03-19T23:54:00.000-08:00

It's been two weeks since I added Sitemeter to the blog, and I have spent way too much time checking back to see if any new readers have visited the site. I know. Nerdy. But fun! I'm excited to say that Tomatoes has clocked over 3,000 visitors, which might not be much for one of them fancy blogs but is certainly exciting for me.

Probably the coolest feature Sitemeter offers is the chance to check out where your traffic is coming from. I've been floored to see how far-flung my visitors have been and I just wanted to say domo arigato to the reader in Japan, tack så mycket to my amigos in Sverige, kiitos to their neighbors in Finland (no hard feelings for the hockey, my Nordic friends), and "g'day, mate" to the nice Aussies in Heidelberg, Victoria, AU. No doubt this varied and variegated visitation is due to the generous linkage by the slap-happy lads at Wonkette (thanks for taking up the cause, gents!) but either way it's been cool to see visitors from Selma, Alabama to Sofia, Bulgaria to Puglia, Italy to Hudson Heights, Quebec (Vive le Candada! Vive le Quebec!), plus my new BFFs in Souths Africa and Korea, the Philippines, Poland, and Civrieux-d'Azergues, Rhone-Alpes, France, which sounds delicious. Supa-special shout outs to "Are You From" Willowdale and "It's Worth The Drive To" Acton, both in my lovely home province of Ontario, Canada. Finally, a little love to Delaware Water Gap, Pennsylvania. I'm sure it's worth the drive there, too.

The point is, it's been SO cool seeing you pop in for a visit. This newfangled internet thingie really is something. Please come visit again soon, and feel free to holla back if you're jealous of the fella from Wapella.

p.s. Here's where I got that pie graph. Mmm, pie.

It's all Greek to me

2006-03-15T22:52:00.000-08:00

I have no idea what any of this means.

Happy!

2006-03-15T18:18:00.000-08:00

I am really, really excited about this.

(And this, but in a different way.)

Liza with a Zed

2006-03-14T15:29:00.000-08:00

You'll never turn her vinegar to jam, Mein Herr.

(NB: That's how we say it in Canada, kids.)

Harry Potter and the Welcome Lack of Magazine Pretension

2006-03-14T02:07:00.000-08:00

Hard as it is to believe, there are some grown-ups out there who scoff at Harry Potter and the lovable gang at Hogwarts. Which is why I was so pumped to find a totally earnest Harry Potter-related item in New York Magazine, complete with in-refs and a non-patronizing use of the word "Muggle" (possibly the most over-used word in the "let's describe the crowds waiting for Harry Potter books" media lexicon). Props go to author S.Jhoanna Robledo for dropping lesser-known HP arcana like galleons AND knuts, plus the correct use of "apparating" (which some publications can't take for granted). If this post is indicative of too-high levels of Harry Potter geekery for you, relax, I'm only doing it for the hits. And if you believe that I've got a S.P.E.W. button that you can wear.

Harry Potter and the Montauk Hwy.? [New York]

Related: My impromptu HP essay on the eve of the release of "Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince" this summer. One of my favorite things I did at Fishbowl, reaching extraordinary heights of nerditude as it was written on a Friday night from about midnight to 1 am. Oh please, what exactly are you doing right now that's so impressive? Hmph. Exactly.

Harry Potter And The Hordes of People At Bookstores Right Now [FBNY]

Tapping into the Zeitgeist

2006-03-13T22:06:00.000-08:00

From Google:

Number of hits for "What are you benching, buff guy?": 13,400
Number of hits for "sodomized as bad as you can possibly make it": 757

Getting there. Don't forget about South Dakota Senator Bill Napoli, everyone! He deserves censure, too.

Thank God I'm a Man

2006-03-13T21:37:00.000-08:00

Yesterday's NYT mag featured a Deborah Solomon interview with Harvey "I Put The 'Man' In" Mansfield, author of the forthcoming book "Manliness," which laments the loss of manliness in a "gender-neutral" society. I have better things to do than read the book — I think I've got me some socks that need darning — but Solomon's interview provides a preview. Apparently being a man boils down to "confidence in a situation of risk. A manly man has to know what he is doing." Manly men who take manly risks include Arnold Schwarzenegger ("he took a risk with his reputation"), Dick Cheney ("He hunts. And he curses openly") and President Bush ("What are you benching, buff guy?"). Women, on the other hand, are neater, and "make nests."

For the record, not even my kindest friends would describe me as "neat," though there may be something nesting in my oven since I haven't turned it on in over a year. I curse. I hunt (I think that qualifies, with the added bonus that no one gets shot in the face). As for confidence in a situation of risk, well, the surest example I have is of a mother's instinct when her child is in danger. I've seen it. Wowee, them little fillies can shore move fast.

Of course, it wouldn't be a discussion of manly men without a nod to how much smarter they are, too. Consider this compelling excerpt:

Were you sorry to see Harvard's outgoing president, Lawrence Summers, attacked for saying that men and women may have different mental capacities?

He was taking seriously the notion that women, innately, have less capacity than men at the highest level of science. I think it's probably true. It's common sense if you just look at who the top scientists are.

But couldn't that simply reflect the institutional bias against women over the centuries?

It could, but I don't think it does. We have been going a couple of generations now. There are certain things that haven't changed. For example, in New York City, the doormen are still 98 percent men.

Ohhh, the doormen. Well, that explains it.

Here's the thing: how good can these men be at science if they never offer any goddamned PROOF that they're better at it than women? Sheesh.

Of Manliness and Men [NYT Mag]
The Manly Man's Man [Boston Globe]
The Manliest of Manly Men, Man [Broadsheet/Salon]
AUDIO: Thank God I'm A Man [Shock Treatment*] (lyrics here)

*Via Big & Sharp. Thanks Kyle! You're manly!

Far be it from me to say "I told you so," but...

2006-03-13T12:50:00.000-08:00

"I am a Liberal. Fire away."

Attractive, principled AND quotes Pat Benetar? Now THAT's presidential.

Blog Synchronicity

2006-03-12T18:41:00.000-08:00

Back when I was at FishbowlNY, I desperately tried to popularize a phrase I coined called "blog synchronicity": The phenomenon that occurs when two or more references to the same thing come up on a blog independently of each other, like references to devout Christian major-league baseball players or Franz Ferdinand or fish soup. Delicious, if you like fish soup.

Well, in any case, I thought I'd give blog synchronicity another shout-out because it's been popping up right here on Tomatoes over the past few days. Very randomly, I mentioned Jessica Alba (as Playboy cover girl and fave of a starry-eyed Tom Shales); Dolly Parton (as awesome Oscar performer and as the subject of a White Stripes cover version I'm seeking); and also hardened, blind creatures who exist in a prehistoric world of darkness and the leaders of South Dakota.

The funniest irony of this post: I started it on Friday and left it in draft form over the weekend, just getting back to it now. When I went to FishbowlNY to search out "blog synchronicity," a forgotten post popped up which featured not only my go-to definition of the term but also one Jonathan Coulton. Cosmic!

Real-time semi-freaky example of blog synchronicity: this is actually kind of cool. As I type this I am listening to a mixed CD I made back in November, culled from some very random sources, inlcuding MP3s from an ex who tried to learn me some hip-hop. Right now, Wyclef Jean's version of "Wish You Were Here" is playing, which is truly hilarious given the title of the aforementioned go-to definition. Critics, don't mistake this for just any cover tune!

Well, anyway — blog synchronicity. With your help, we can make it a cool blog term! Or, at least, a blog term.

You can't make someone love you with a song

2006-03-12T17:14:00.000-08:00

...unless you're Jonathan Coulton, with whom I fell violently in love back in the fall based on his hilarious, melodic cover of Baby Got Back. My idle weekend bloggery has led me to Coulton's latest Zeitgeist-tapping creative marvel, his Flickr-inspired song-and-slideshow which has made some guy named Dwyer famous in certain circles. I actually laughed out loud repeatedly and clapped my hands in delight. Highly recommended. Watch, listen, and procrastinate. Hat tip to Screenhead via Wonkette via Lindsayism, with props to Her Space Holiday for the song ref above. Dear sleeping giant panda, pleasant dreams.

Related:
My Girlfriend's Boyfriend [Her Space Holiday]

Update:
Wow, it's older than I thought. See Coulton's original post about it on Dec. 22/05.

Jack White is the new, er, White

2006-03-10T11:46:00.000-08:00

Score from Kyle at Big & Sharp — the first single from The Raconteurs, the latest in the Jack White musical collaboration oeuvre. White's teamed up with fellow Motor City musician Brendan Benson and friends Brendan Keeler (drums) and Jack Lawrence (bass) (yes! There is bass!) to, er, racont. Kyle's got "Steady As She Goes" up on his site, and rightly points out that it evokes the first few chords of "Is She Really Going Out With Him?" by Joe Jackson, if it had thrashier guitars and was played in a minor key and was recorded in a Detroit attic. Look over there. Where? Yes, exactly.

Nerds will love the Raconteur website, which is a throwback to old-school Commodore 64-style DOS-style screens in a typically Jack White neo-Luddite style. Your mouse is no good to you here; you have to go search out the "H" key for "Home" or the "B" key for "Back." Kind of funny, though annoying if you're in a hurry.

More to the point: I took this pic of Jack White at the White Stripes concert in Union Square in October 2002, and was struck by two things: (1) He's smiling. How often do you get to see that? and (2) Is it me, or does he totally look like Meg Ryan? That shaggy 'do, those dimples, that pert, mischevous smile. Look, and then look again. It's true.

If you haven't already clicked to hear the song above, you can do so here too (I know, Mom, blogs are confusing).

p.s. If anyone out there felt like sending me mp3 of the White Stripes covering "Jolene" I'd be very pleased.

How Jane could cost Playboy big

2006-03-10T00:28:00.000-08:00

By now you all know that Playboy's March cover girl, Jessica Alba, neither posed for the cover nor consented to have her bikini-clad image placed there. Alba flat-out refused to pose for Playboy, so the magazine instead finagled a publicity still from her upcoming "Into The Blue" and smacked it on the cover, complete with the bunny watermark over one bikini'd breast. Alba hit the roof and has threatened to sue Playboy for the "immeasurable harm" caused to her reputation; a February 23rd demand letter from her lawyers demands that Playboy cease distribution immediately and pay Alba an unspecified "monetary settlement" for its "unauthorized and tortious" use of her image. Needless to say, Playboy has not done so.

I read the letter*, and, they seem to have a pretty damn good case: according to Alba, Playboy offered her money to pose, she turned them down, so they obtained a saucy image of her by a ruse to her studio, Columbia Pictures. Despite Playboy's lame assertions to the contrary, it's a pretty decent assumption that a woman on the cover of Playboy appears nude or semi-nude inside (epsecially when it's encased in plastic, a la a certain issue of Vanity Fair). The caselaw seems pretty clear, too: Playboy clearly stands to benefit from Alba's "marketable celebrity identity value" (they branded her with a bunny, for God's sake).

What I find interesting about the letter is this: Alba's lawyers never actually describe exactly what her reputation is that it will be "immeasurably harmed" by the association with Playboy. I was expecting a long, florid paragraph about Alba's sterling and wholesome reputation as a role model to young girls, etc. etc. But then I realized that would open the door to Playboy to point out that she's played a stripper, appeared on the cover of Maxim (with quotes like "The scripts I get are always for the whore, or the motorcycle chick in leather, or the horny maid"), attended the MTV Movie Awards in a see-through dress, and gives interviews like this (on the phone to GQ: "I just wanted you to know that I'm half-naked right now and eating chocolate cake)."

Playboy could well make the argument that it doesn't owe her squat for so-called "harm" to a reputation that's already pretty sexed up (as one blogger wrote, "what reputation?" NB don't shoot the messenger here, kids, I'm just pointing out what Playboy might feasibly argue). What's an unwitting Playboy cover girl to do?

Prove that refusing to post nude is, in fact, part of her reputation. And this is where Jane comes in (yes, you'll read my buried lede and like it). In the October 2005 issue (in which she appears consensually on the cover), Alba is described as someone who "famously turns down nude scenes" and was actually "mortified" about her MTV Awards dress. But here's the kicker from the interview:

"Would you do a nude scene if someone offered you crazy amounts of money?"
She shakes her head. "So? A whore can do that."

That quote is a big ol' callout on page 83, emphasized so all of Jane's 700,000+ readers can see it: Jessica Alba, on the record, saying she'd never go nude and isn't a whore. That sets up a pretty distinct reputational line that an implication of nude posing by Playboy would surely cross. Which opens up a world of possibility for a "monetary settlement" for "irreparable harm."

Now this is, of course, just speculation on my part; so far all we have is Alba's legal letter and the fact that Playboy is still on the racks (er, no pun intended). But I do think it's interesting that it's a subject about which the letter was silent, and one which hasn't really been explored (at least from what I've seen, but it's a big world out there). I for one hope Alba kicks Playboy's ass and extracts the maximum amount from their sneaky, image-appropriating asses — Playboy shouldn't have the right to smear its smutty self all over a woman without her consent, especially when she's out-and-out said no. To the extent that my back issue of Jane can help her do so, so much the better.

*Yes, I'm a lawyer, but if you're Jessica Alba, I wouldn't rely on me.

To Hell in a Hand(maid's) basket

2006-03-09T11:02:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was International Women's Day. Yes, South Dakota noticed too.

A few super-special things to celebrate on Women's Day:

Samuel Alito and his polite thank-you notes
South Dakota Governor Mike Rounds and his compassion for the "most helpless persons in our society"
Wyoming Senator Mike Enzi and his taxpayer-dollar saving frugality. A penny saved is a penny earned!
South Dakota Senator Mike Napoli and his vivid imagination

As far as effective posts go, this would be more effective if I left it at that. Snappy, sarcastic, succinct. Except then I'd run the risk that you might not click through to the links. So I'll just say it straight out: women's rights are under real, tangible, scary threat in this country. South Dakota governor Mike Rounds has signed anti-abortion legislation that prohibits abortion with no exception for rape or incest. Mississippi is set to follow suit. Senator Enzi (R-WY) has proposed legislation that would allow insurance companies to opt-out of providing contraception. Meanwhile, the South Dakota ban will not go into effect unless it is upheld by the Supreme Court; good thing, then, that Alito is so chummy with James Dobson (yes, that James Dobson).

I've saved the scary best for last. Read this, from PBS's "NewsHour" report on abortion rights in South Dakota, in an interview with Senator Bill Napoli:

FRED DE SAM LAZARO: Napoli says most abortions are performed for what he calls "convenience." He insists that exceptions can be made for rape or incest under the provision that protects the mother's life. I asked him for a scenario in which an exception may be invoked.

BILL NAPOLI: A real-life description to me would be a rape victim, brutally raped, savaged. The girl was a virgin. She was religious. She planned on saving her virginity until she was married. She was brutalized and raped, sodomized as bad as you can possibly make it, and is impregnated. I mean, that girl could be so messed up, physically and psychologically, that carrying that child could very well threaten her life.

Who thinks it's scary that a Senator has a graphic, fully-formed rape fantasy off the top of his head? There are so many things disturbingly wrong with this, I don't know where to begin. But I think this woman says it best. Kudos to her for her bravery. I read that yesterday, on International Women's Day. So at least I found one thing to celebrate.

NB: By the way, a Google search for "sodomized as bad as you can possibly make it" yields a number of blog hits, but nothing so far in the mainstream media that I've seen. Let's get on this guy, people. Please.

UPDATE: Newspapers are picking up Molly Ivin's syndicated column on this. Good. Now, more.

Rock Furry Lobster

2006-03-08T23:25:00.000-08:00

Welcome to the (new) family, little crustacean!

p.s. Is it me, or does "Rock Furry Lobster" sound kinda dirty? Motion in the ocean, indeed.

Huge burn on MSNBC

2006-03-08T21:53:00.000-08:00

Wow. I just saw on TVNewser that NBC and CNN cleaned up at the AP's National Headliner Awards. NBC received nine awards. CNN received eight. MSNBC received one.

Why is this a burn on MSNBC? Here's the thing: one of CNN's awards went to "Paula Zahn Now" for Best Newscast, for her "Jet Blue Plane/Tornado/Hurricane Rita."

Who remembers the tale of JetBlue Flight 292? September 21, 2005: JetBlue flight 292 takes off from Burbank, realizes its landing gear is stuck, and circles tensely for three hours burning through fuel before luckily landing safely at LAX. The plane may be broken but DirectTV works just fine, which means that passengers end up being glued to their seat-back TVs, where MSNBC is reporting on the scary life-and-death situation, live.

Did you catch that? MSNBC. Back in September I called it "The Official Network of Watching The Plane You're On Almost Crash." This is because JetBlue doesn't carry CNN — something I figured out on a Sunday morning flight to California, confused as to why I couldn't find "Reliable Sources" on my dial (it does carry Fox; no idea why no one was watching). Either way, MSNBC owned this story — not only was it a huge part of the unfolding drama ("We were watching our own demise on TV!"), but Flight 292 passengers happened to include several NBC Universal employees returning to New York, which meant that MSNBC scored the first passenger interview with passenger Todd Schwartz, husband of MSNBC media relations director Leslie Zeller-Schwartz, who patched him immediately through to anchor Allison Stewart ("Glad you're alive, honey, thanks for the get").

Okay, so they've got a massive exclusive and they're an integral part of the story but — get this — there's more. Paula Zahn's report actually got a major fact wrong: she reported that the plane was dumping fuel. The JetBlue aircraft in question, however, was an Airbus 320 — and the Airbus 320 has no mechanism for dumping fuel. Zahn was incorrect. MSNBC, on the other hand, reported that the Airbus 320 could not so dump, instead creating drag with the wings to burn more fuel. MSNBC, as we now know, was correct.

Yet CNN still got the award. Oh, MSNBC. That must really mean you sucked.

Passengers Learned About Landing Gear Problem From MSNBC [TVNewser]
Transcript: Paula Zahn Now, Sept. 21/05 [CNN]
JetBlue Emergency Landing* [You Tube]

*Ironically, featuring CNN and Fox.

Let the Blue Plate Special shine a light on me

2006-03-08T17:39:00.000-08:00

There are many reasons I wish I were in college again*, and now there's one more: Jay Rosen's "Blogging 101" class at NYU. I was intrigued last month when he told me about it when we spoke for my "Fishbowl Final" interview series (scroll down for his recommended reading), and have been doubly delighted and impressed this month with the launch of "Blue Plate Special," the class' slam-dunk website.

The first special on the menu is newspaper blogging, served up hot and delicious by Rosen's bloggy brood (memo to Blue Platers: nothing says "delicious" like tomatoes!). Newspapers should be paying attention: their analysis is rigorous and exhaustive, and they make a strong case for their conclusions. Editors should take notes and thank them for the free consulting services (NB to the NYT: Jay Rosen wasn't kidding, he really thinks WaPo is kicking your ass). Blue Plate's "State of Newspaper Blogging" chart is so very interesting, as are the comments (see how TimesSelect blogs didn't make the cut! And, why don't you make it sortable?). As a Canadian, I must admit that I was a bit disappointed to see the data limited to the U.S.; you can imagine my tearful joy to find a whole entire juicy big long blog post devoted entirely to the state of Canadian newspaper blogging (which itself is not nearly as big and juicy as it ought to be. C'mon, Edward Greenspon, read your email!).

There is a lot to be learned from Blue Plate Special, for newspapers and bloggers and readers alike. This is what happen when smart people take the time to really look at something: discoveries, insights, and thoughtful observations ensue. Let the Blue Plate Special shine a light on all of us; we'll probably learn something.

p.s. If you don't know CCR when you see it, maybe you'll know it when you hear it. Click! Listen! Sing along!

Blue Plate Special [PressThink]
Introducing PressThink's Blue Plate Special [PressThink]

*I'd say low metabolism, but this blogger was well-acquainted with the Frosh Fifteen back in the day.

No love for Tom Shales

2006-03-07T11:36:00.000-08:00

Today I am annoyed by Washington Post critic Tom Shales, and this is after loving his work on "Live From New York" which was an engrossing, fascinating and extremely thorough exploration of the "Saturday Night Live" phenomenon. When I found it at a Barnes and Noble for $4.99 several months ago — in hardcover — I bought two more to give as gifts. That makes me look like a big spender.

But I digress. The point is, his Oscar review was absolutely awful, on pretty much every level, as he contradicted himself and made more than a few — say it with me — facile and unsupported conclusions. Allow me to support these statements.

He makes the point that Jon Stewart bombed, with a monologue that "lacked a single hilarious joke" with the "possible exception" of the Bjork-shot-by-Dick-Cheney line. Talk about damning with faint praise. This completely ignores (a) the Brokeback cowboy montage — an unequivocal crowd-pleaser; (b) "I think I speak for all Jews when I say, "I can't wait to see what happens to us next"; (c) the joke about "introducing the presenters in order of how talented they are" and (d) "Night of a Thousand Sweatpants," which was typically and refreshingly goofy, especially for those of us in actual sweatpants.

Those are just a few high points from the actual monologue — in the rest of the show there was his Scientology barb; gentle pokes at Clooney's lothario rep; a close-to-home joke about how women are judged on their looks, undervalued and underpaid; the Tom Hanks vignette, which took stupid Gil Cates to task (or does it? Then I saw this); and riffs on how hard it was out here for a pimp ("Martin Scorcese: 0; Three Six Mafia: 1" off the cuff? Brilliant). Let's also not forget the mock campaign ads, an original and clever idea laced with subtle political commentary (lest we forget how "swift-boating" became a verb).

For those of you keeping score at home, these are all things that Shales did not mention.

What he did mention: "The audience at home does not want to look at clips. It wants to look at big-time movie stars." Shales goes on to offer evidence supporting this statement, such as polls conducted by the Academy, comments made by Gil Cates, and corroborating statements from other viewers. Oh wait, he doesn't. Let me say this: I, as one member of the audience at home, love the clips. I love seeing familiar images from movies I loved, seeing familiar faces a few decades younger, being reminded of how far the art has come, and how great it has been in the past. And hey, that past? It had a few big-time movie stars too.

Also, it occurs to me that VH1's programming consists pretty much of clip shows. Hm. How's that working out for them?

Shales qualifies one of his comments, at least: apparently the audience wants to look at big-time movie stars...and ogle Jessica Alba. Last I checked, Honey and Into The Blue do not a big-time movie star make.

Oh yes, this is my favorite part: "Stewart had five months, working with his legions of writers from the "Daily Show" on Comedy Central, to come up with good material. It goes to prove that there's still a big, big difference between basic cable and big-time network television after all." Yes, it's a pity that they couldn't have shipped in someone from "According To Jim."

Another interesting point: Shales gets through his whole article about how much the Oscars sucked — almost a thousand words — without mentioning producer and Oscar Scrooge Gil Cates. Instead, the whole thing is Stewart's fault. Typical. Blame the Jew.

Memo to Jon Stewart: Keep Your 'Daily' Job [WaPo]

NB: Thanks to Stephen Kaus on HuffPo for bringing this article to my attention. Some further salient points there. Joel Keller also touches on this at TVSquad, and a commenter reminds me about another hilarious ad-lib from Stewart after the montages: "We've run out of clips. If anyone has any film clips, please send them in."

This guy's an idiot.

2006-03-06T16:27:00.000-08:00

I'm talking about Michael Kalin, whom the Boston Globe made sure we knew was a 2005 graduate of Harvard College, perhaps in lieu of providing any actual data backing up his ridiculous, simplistic, and attribution-free opinion piece called "Why Jon Stewart Isn't Funny":

Stewart's daily dose of political parody characterized by asinine alliteration leads to a "holier than art thou" attitude toward our national leaders. People who possess the wit, intelligence, and self-awareness of viewers of "The Daily Show" would never choose to enter the political fray full of "buffoons and idiots." Content to remain perched atop their Olympian ivory towers, these bright leaders head straight for the private sector.

Oops, sorry, he quotes de Tocqueville. He's SMART.

Honestly, this article made me angry to read, not because I am an on-the-record fan of Jon Stewart, but because even more I am an on-the-record fan of calling out lazy writing, facile/unsupported conclusions and sloppy journalism. I can't believe the Boston Globe published this tripe. I'm not even going to bother tearing it apart other than to say that it's one of the dumbest fucking things I've ever seen.

p.s. The author might want to "learn" how to "use" "quotation marks."

(Thanks to TMFTML for drawing my attention to this. He provides an entirely different reason to hate on it. Ditto Ankush at Penguins on the Equator.)

That was the weirdest Oscars ever

2006-03-05T23:24:00.000-08:00

Am I wrong? They were boring, lacking in spontaneity, and almost entirely devoid of spice, despite Ben Stiller in a green unitard. They did, however, have Jon Stewart, who was struck the pitch-perfect note between acerbic and acceptable. Arianna will be pleased.

Some thoughts:

Crash??? Wow. GO CANADA! (Lionsgate, baby.)

Robert Altman: Thanks to the thirty-something woman who died so that I could have 40 more years of moviemaking! Except he didn't actually say "thanks."

Jennifer Garner: "I do my own stunts." Best. Recovery. Ever.

I didn't see Brokeback Mountain. No one told me Jake Gyllenhaal sported such a goofy lookin' mustache.

Did no one show Gil Cates those Brokeback parodies? 'Cause it seemed clear to the rest of us that using the same music over and over again creates the same impression. Which may be why there weren't any speeches that really stood out. Jamie Foxx's sing-song speech from last year would not have been possible (remember, last year we weren't annoyed with him). Point being, that irritating music tinkling underneath the speeches did nothing for the show's spontaneity. I've already forgotten all the speeches that didn't have penguins.

Two words: DOLLY.

Two more words: Lily Tomlin and Meryl Streep. God, that was fantastic to watch. Memo to Hollywood: More Lily.

As long as we're on the subject, I was loving the 9 to 5 shout-outs. Memo to Hollywood: More Dabney Coleman.

Homoerotic moments from westerns was predictable but hilarious. Even better was Jon's follow up: "Charlton Heston is cut! Guy looks like he's been lifting 20 commandments." Love it.

Was it me, or did Reese's repeated references to "characters" that had been "written" seem to inadequately acknowledge that they were based on real people that "existed?" But, I do love me a Real Woman.

Another Real Woman: Marilyn O'Connor, mother of Best Actor winner Philip Seymour Hoffman: "I'd like it if you see her tonight to congratulate her. She brought up four kids alone and she deserves congratulations for that." Classy and genuine. I wish I could have heard it without that stupid music underneath.

Tom Hanks getting bonked over the head with a viola: excellent. I kind of wish it had been Tom Cruise.

Charlize Theron has an entire other dress on her shoulder.

Line of the night — Jon Stewart praising Spielberg for Schindler's List and Munich: "I think I speak for all Jews when I say, 'I can't wait to see what happens to us next!'"

Steve Martin's weird kids: not funny the first time. With David Letterman: freakin' hilarious. For the record, I did and always will think "Uma/Oprah" was funny.

I hate those AmEx commercials — they're just so smug. And the M. Night Shamalayan one freaked me out. I was actually eating during that commercial. Not so much, after.

Is is hard out here for a pimp.

Clooney for President. Seriously, give it a few years.

Rob Corddry's voiceovers: awesome. Lack of Samantha Bee, anywhere: a blow to Canadians, indeed. Thank God for Lionsgate.

I'm gonna say it: Salma Hayek has a rack that just won't quit.

Runners up: Catherine Keener's hair, Nicole Kidman's dress (is it me or does she have a decidedly ursine look?), Michelle Williams' bold pairing of mustard yellow and bold red lips, Naomi Watts just being drop-dead gorgeous (up in some attic somewhere, a portrait of her is aging). I, on the other hand, am wearing fuzzy gray sweatpants. And a smile.

Poor Baldwin brothers.

Paul Haggis is my new favorite director, even if his name does not evoke my new favorite food: "I just want to thank those people who take big risks in their daily lives when there aren't cameras rolling."

Jon Stewart, ending with "Good Night...and get home safe." Psych! I think he was tempted. I mean, he really loves Clooney.

Liveblogging the Oscars [Defamer]
Liveblogging the Oscars [MSNBC*]

*...which sounds boring but the guy is actually pretty funny. Actually, the MSNBC version is racier than Lisanti's version. That's MSNBC. What's up with that?

Give Nick Sylvester a break

2006-03-03T23:53:00.000-08:00

Ever do something collossally boneheaded, mind-numbingly stupid and heart-stoppingly egregious? Odds are, yes. Okay, now, think of that moment. Now imagine it being plastered across computer screens all over the city, being emailed to all your friends, colleagues, anyone you've ever hoped to impress, everyone you've ever hoped to get a chance from. Nick Sylvester did something very, very stupid, and weak, and wrong. But he's 25. And this fuck-up has cost him his career and his good name. So cut the kid a break, okay? Because there but for the grace of God and a misplaced "Reply All" goeth us all.

I read that story; he's a talented writer. And it was a good story, to the extent that it was right (The Game has worked — often — for a friend of mine). He may be an entitled Harvard twit; or, he may just have been a kid who cracked under the pressure; or, he may have simply thought the made-up bits were fine, added to the story and wouldn't make much difference. Obviously he knew better — we all do— and has to face the consequences, but still. It's time to leave him alone, and hope that he has it in him to suck it up and come the hell back. On the upside, this will probably make him way easier to work with in the future. Also on the upside, at least he didn't cross Oprah.

p.s. Suicide jokes: never funny.

Tomato Plug: Love for Party Central USA

2006-03-03T15:17:00.000-08:00

I'm kvelling: My good friends in the sketch group Party Central USA have two videos up at The Apiary, "kind of like the US Weekly of NYC comedy" according to Apiarist Nate, er, the Apiarist (Nate! What's your last name?). I have had lust in my heart for PCUSA for many moons now, and their latest show at the PIT is so hilarious that I've seen it twice and am going again this weekend (if that makes me sound like a loser, well, afterward I'm going to a party filled with male models, so suck it). Anyhow, I would urge you both to watch the videos and go see the show, because it is extremely smart, funny and high-concept stuff, and also, there is nipple.

See you Saturday night; introduce yourself and we'll be BFFs and then go stalk hapless male models. In the meantime, enjoy the Herman's Hermits! As if you had a choice.

Sometimes David Gregory Just Thinks Funny Things

2006-03-03T00:06:00.000-08:00

Today my love for David Gregory went through the roof as I giggled with him through his brief interview on Imus.* It's true, sometimes you do just think funny things. I used to crack up over the word "ganong." Ha, it still works.

What also works: the power of suggestion. I'm not talking about my eerily prescient dramatic rendering of Gregory, drunk and hurting — that's a made-up story, boys and girls. Also a made-up story: that Gregory was drunk. I'm not saying he didn't sound drunk, or like drunk people we've known (or been). But beyond the fact that that's a fairly damning allegation, it didn't make sense. For one thing, he was calling into Imus before dinner, India time. What, he found a pub and spent the afternoon chilling over a cold one? Highly unlikely. Also, once he mastered the giggles, his description of the U.S.-India nuclear deal was incredibly lucid and succinct, which apparently characterized his follow-up call to Imus (mysteriously not mentioned on Drudge). TVNewser called it a non-scandal; Gregory didn't even think to mention it on his subsequent posts on the Daily Nightly.

But, who cares — the power of suggestion/blatant implication is way more fun. Tabloid headline writers know that they can weasel out of libel with a well-placed question mark ("Did Jessica Cheat?" Brit Pregnant — Again?"); Drudge knows that trick, too. I don't know what his headline was after Dick Cheney had a beer at lunch and then shot his friend in the face; I'm guessing it wasn't "Dick Cheney Shot His Friend In The Face Because He Was 'Drunk'?" From Imus to Drudge to drunk dial jokes, the path was too easy. NBC denies it, of course, but would they need to had Drudge mentioned Gregory's sober-sounding second call? Keep in mind that a proper journalist would have made an effort to contact Gregory or NBC for comment, which surely could have answered his interrogatory. These are obviously hypothetical questions; obviously Drudge isn't going to make that call, he's not in the benefit-of-the-doubt business. But really, he should have, just as he should update and clarify his story today to reflect NBC's denial. We'll see. In the meantime, David Gregory, I'll see you between the moon and New York City. Ganong!

UPDATE: No update. Friday, March 3, 2006, 11:06 am ET — nothing on the main site or yesterday's newsflash. In other news, my eyes are very angry at me for making them look at the Drudge Report. How is that site so popular? Red-state optometrists, credit where credit is due.

Drunk David Gregory Still Smarter Than You [Wonkette]

*Rejected headline for this post: "Imus? But He Doesn't Even Know Us!"

...and Jon Klein's day is made

2006-03-01T12:58:00.000-08:00

"I'm Bill Hemmer. You know, I was on CNN."

(It's the little things.)

I bid you a fond Dubai

2006-02-27T23:52:00.000-08:00

God, do I ever wish I'd thought of that. Major props to WaPo's Dana Milbank, who turned his fashion misstep (dolling up on MSNBC in bright orange hunting gear a la Cheney) into an excuse to launch a few funnies in his WaPo chat last Friday. Keep in mind, funny is a matter of opinion, and I like saying things like "forewarned is forearmed -- and who couldn't use four arms?" Especially if you've just flown in. Oy, I kill me.

NB: WaPo's Dana Milbank is a boy, as opposed to WaPo's Dana Priest, who is a girl, and also a Polk award winner. Congratulations, Danas!

"Here's Dave Coulier and Nancy Kerrigan!"

2006-02-27T20:38:00.000-08:00

Ah, the unintentional hilarity of randomly turning on the TV. But where was the Pamchenko?

See, Larry Summers, girls CAN do math!

2006-02-26T14:00:00.000-08:00

Way too much procrastinatory potential in this one, but also the potential for hilarity and goofy in-jokes. Second only to the Bush-Cheney Election Sign Generator, R.I.P. Thanks to Matt Holohan at I Fought The Law for the tip-off. Sorry 'bout that weekend, dude.

Blonde on blonde (except when they're brunette)

2006-02-24T15:33:00.000-08:00

I'm usually a huge fan of our dark lord Jack Shafer, whose cantankerous media criticism is usually spot-on. This week's deconstruction of TV's Aryan Sisterhood ("They know only one hair color: blonder!"), however, was uncharacteristically sloppy and off the mark.

First of all, he left out some important people, the most obvious being Elizabeth Vargas and Soledad O'Brien. I'm sorry, but no amount of Amy Kelloggs, Alex Witts and Laurie Dhues make up for leaving off anchors of their stature (and your theory doesn't become right just because you conveniently leave out contradictory evidence). Vargas and her shiny chestnut mane just scored an exclusive sit-down with President Bush next week (first since the Cheney-shooting port-securitizing extravaganzas), and have kinda been in the news lately, to put it mildly (turns out she's pretty fertile, too, thus shooting holes in Shafer's tenuous argument that blonde TVNewsers are unfairly imposing an impossible fertility standard on brunette wombs). As for Soledad, she wasn't the one axed from American Morning.

Jack does give a shout-out to Carol Costello, who is brunette, cute, and looks fertile enough to me. But let's consider some other brunettes, for the record: Daryn Kagan, Contessa Brewer (who is about as gorgeous as it gets, on any network), Maria Bartiromo (the Money Honey, authoritative and smokin'), Kimberly Guilfoyle (who works the sex appeal like nobody's business), and Campell Brown (by the way, (a) she looks way better as a brunette and (b) Jack, you are no expert in blonding if you don't know about dyeing the eyebrows to match! For shame). There are more -- Erin Burnett, Adrianna Costa, Jeanne Meserve -- but don't take my word for it, just take a look at Jack's "Periodic Table of Blondness"...which actually features a large proportion of brunettes.

As for the so-called enhanced appeal of blonde male anchors? Jack is REALLY smoking something here. There is just no correlation between dude blondness and on-camera appeal (no offense, Chris Matthews). In fact, there is an argument for the contrary; who remembers the hullaballoo over Daniel Craig as the new Blond Bond? I'm thinking Miles, Hemmer, Colbert, Williams, Lauer, and CNN's delectable Rob Marciano. Let's hope Rob is fertile. He'd make beautiful babies.

NB Anyone else notice anything about all the newsladies mentioned, brunette or blonde? That's right, they're all white. Is Connie Chung dyeing her hair? How about Robin Roberts? If the women of color aren't skewing the sample, then that's an issue in itself: not, "why is there a preference for blondes reading our news" but "why is there a preference for white people reading our news?" That's a question to ask about both sexes.

Speaking of the aforementioned sample: Jack says that by "my definition of blond, at least 60 percent" of female anchors qualify. See that pic up top? That's me, fuzzily taking pics of myself to document my blonding for a magazine article. Biggest comment I got on the big change? "It's not really blonde." I'd say a healthy proportion of Jack's sample straddles the sun-kissed, caramel-colored world between blonde and brunette, a category many refer to as "golden brown." Note which word is the modifier. By the way, for the record: I'm much more fertile as a brunette.

p.s. All that said, it's sentences like this that make it hard to stay mad at our Jack: "I'm told that powder, pencil, and paint can turn even the weakest mouth into a juicy vagina dentata." I'm pretty sure I read that about Walter Cronkite once.

TV's Aryan Sisterhood [Slate]

Too easy, and I wish it weren't so

2006-02-23T13:05:00.000-08:00

"People don't need to worry about security."
--President Bush, Feb. 23, 2006

See also:

"I don’t think anybody anticipated the breach of the levees."
--President Bush, Sept. 1, 2005

"I don't think anybody could have predicted that those people could take an airplane and slam it into the World Trade Center, take another one and slam it into the Pentagon, that they would try to use an airplane as a missile, a hijacked airplane as a missile."
--National Security Advisor Condoleeza Rice, May 16, 2002 (now Secretary of State)

Not to be confused with:

"The British government has learned that Saddam Hussein recently sought significant quantities of uranium from Africa."
--President Bush, State of the Union Address, January 28, 2003

"I think they're in the last throes, if you will, of the insurgency."
--Vice President Cheney, June 20, 2005

Avast, me hearties! Office Pirates sucks the bilgewater

2006-02-22T00:24:00.000-08:00

Shiver me timbers! The landlubbers at Office Pirates, the spankin'-new online magazine from Time Inc., have created something slightly less predictible than my lame pirate-speak but only marginally more funny. If you dispute that point perhaps I will add a masturbation joke to even the playing field. I wanted to like Office Pirates, truly I did, but it's hard to appreciate something that is so lowest-common denominator and gender-exclusive.

From Office Pirates I learned:
(a) That there are very few women in offices
(b) That said few women typically parade around the office in just their bras
(c) Or, failing that, are available to have sex with on a conference room table (just dial extension 69, dude!).

Sexism isn't all Office Pirates has going for it -- there's some vaguely homophobic stereotyping, too ("vaguely" is generous). Bathroom humor! Insinuations that promotions are earned through fellatio! Multiple suicide references! Stop it, you're killing me!

This is not to say it is all worthy of being chucked off the plank. I am a big fan of the jokes section, less for the actual jokes (intentionally hackneyed) than for the hilariously thoughtful, Jack Handey-channelling editor's notes that follow (this one legitimately cracked me up). The staff is obviously talented -- little details bring the real funny in subtle bits througout -- and they clearly have a budget. Also, the production values are terrific, and there is some real artistry at work (the "Crying Shame" video is particularly well-shot).

One final note: I was delighted to see my former UCB improv teacher, the hilarious and talented Julie Brister, featured prominently in this video. Julie, I still have all my notes from class, and I still remember one of your cardinal rules: pirates aren't funny.

Office Pirates, you can do better than that. Please. Dump the bilge, hoist the sails, and put your seamen to work. This scurvy wench looks forward to seeing what kind of treasure you come up with. Here's to fair winds ahoy.

Office Pirates [OfficePirates.com]
Time Inc.'s Office Pirates Seek Web Booty [NYP]

p.s. The seaman joke, that one you should have gotten to first. You're pirates, for God's sake.

A doomed, crazy game

2006-02-21T00:45:00.000-08:00

I'm trying to find the connection between this week's lugubrious NYTBR essay on the dearth of hockey books and, indeed, hockey's tenuous place in the sports-world food chain, and the Canadian women's hockey gold. Writer Keith Gessen calls hockey "a doomed, crazy game" and "a sport that isn't quite making it." As a Canadian, it's hard for me to see that, but of course Gessen is talking about American hockey literature, and the American hockey experience ("It is played in cities that are too cold or in cities that have no place for it in their hearts"). This could be true, especially if the sparse NYT coverage is any indication (but then again, consider Messier). But I'm not so sure. Even with the loss of blood-bouncing violence, hockey remains a game of speed and grace, incredibly thrilling to watch at its best and downright balletic across an Olympic-sized rink (yeah, tough guy, balletic. You heard me). It's also thrilling when the underdog prevails -- as in any sport -- and even more so when it prevails twice (though never call the Finns underdogs in hockey. I have gone head to head with Finnish hockey fans before).

Gessen thinks it's high time for a hockey book, after approvingly citing years-old examples like "The Game" by former Habs goalie -- and Canadian -- Ken Dryden (and laywer, yay!). I don't know what's holding hockey back, considering that tales of spelling bees, crossword puzzles, and chicks who box have managed to captivate audiences (not to mention the cottage industry spawned by salt and cod). There's no shortage of drama, especially when you look to Torino (Candian women win gold! Canadian men in a tailspin!), or even when you look to the U.S. (just let Mathieu Schneider near the goalie's wife and watch the fun begin!). I'd hate to think that the new anti-thuggery rules would kill the game's appeal (remember what they said about Jacques Plante's face mask). So maybe all that's missing is a good writer who also happens to be a fan. How 'bout it Gessen? (I'd do it, but I don't know if hardcore hockey fans would go for my "icing is delicious" joke.)

Or maybe all that's missing is an appreciation for the simple, wholesome values of the game. As one Team Canada psychologist said recently (and he should know!): "With hockey, it's so simple. It's, 'If we win, let's go for a beer. If we lose, let's go for a beer.'" Amen to that. Throw in some icing and it's practically a meal.

In Search of the Great American Hockey Novel [NYT]

*Yes, I know the alleged Schneider-Roy drama occurred when they were with the Canadiens, but Schneider happened to be an American Canadien. Also, like so many other hockey players, Schneider is a Jew.

More deets on Cheney shooting, one week later

2006-02-20T01:28:00.000-08:00

A week and a day after Vice President Dick Cheney accidentally shot hunting companion Harry Whittington on a private ranch in Texas -- and a week after that story was actually released -- new information is coming to light about what Cheney actually intended to tell the press. According to Newsweek's report, the initial report to the White House mentioned "an unspecified shooting accident in the vice president's hunting party." The next morning, a visit from a local deputy sheriff made it "clear the story could not be contained":

Cheney and Katharine Armstrong talked about how to get the story out. "What do you want me to do?" Armstrong asked. "What do you feel comfortable doing?" Cheney replied.

Yowsers. Those are loaded questions.

Yes, accidents happen. It's pretty clear that one happened here. But it's also pretty clear that there was a considered, deliberate attempt to first contain this story, and then to downplay it (per the peppery Armstrong) and spin it into a blame-the-victim scenario. Per David Gregory:

Mr. Cheney, in my view, acted as if he had something to hide. He also chose to allow a witness to this accident and the White House press secretary to spend three days portraying this as the fault of the shooting victim, Harry Whittington. Wednesday, Mr. Cheney changed course and took the blame. That invites press scrutiny.

I have to say, even in the course of said blame-taking, Cheney heavily implied fault on the part of Whittington:

Well, ultimately, I'm the guy who pulled the trigger that fired the round that hit Harry. And you can talk about all of the other conditions that existed at the time, but that's the bottom line. And there's no -- it was not Harry's fault. (emphasis added)

Of course, by this time, everyone had heard about how Harry had wandered into the line of fire and hadn't announced himself. This denial only served to reinforce that.

Cheney's right; this is a complicated story, but only because he and his office have deliberately made it one. Yes, accidents happen. But attempts to downplay, spin, contain and dismiss them? That's no accident.

Matalin: First Cheney Statement For Press Did Not Admit He Was Shooter [E&P]
The Shot Heard Round The World [Newsweek]

Also, see Jay Rosen:
Dick Cheney Did Not Make a Mistake By Not Telling the Press He Shot a Guy [PressThink]

...and then, you know, I don't

2006-02-19T16:32:00.000-08:00

!!!!!!!!

(sorry, I'm excited)

Sometimes - only sometimes - I have regrets

2006-02-19T13:26:00.000-08:00

This is one of those times.

David and Scott: A Love Story, Kind Of

2006-02-16T14:19:00.000-08:00

The following are excerpts from the exchanges between Scott McLellan and Daivd Gregory earlier this week during the daily White House Briefings. No words have been changed, just sorta rearranged. Also, stage directions have been added. For context. Because, you know, this is a complicated story.

(We are in a warmly-lit bedroom, neat and tidy. You could bounce a quarter off the bed. A book is on the bedside table, neatly bookmarked. SCOTT is packing a suitcase, open on the bed. His face is locked in a mask of inscrutability. He reaches over, picks up the book, hesitates for a moment, and presses it snugly into a free corner. Everything is done with precision.

Suddenly DAVID lurches into the doorway, clutching a bottle. What little liquid remains inside sloshes noisily. SCOTT freezes for a brief moment, then returns to his packing. DAVID shifts his posture in the doorway, aggressively, and speaks in a loud, clear voice, too loud for the little room. He will not be ignored. He slurs only slightly.)

DAVID: Scott, I just have two questions.

SCOTT: (stoically) Well, I think that I've expressed my views, and we went through this yesterday.

DAVID: But that's a non-answer!

(In two swift strides he is beside SCOTT. He reaches out and grabs SCOTT's forearm in mid-pack, locking it in midair. SCOTT pauses, then looks up at DAVID very slowly. His face remains impassive, other than a telltale tightening of his jaw.)

SCOTT: I don't want to make this about anything other than what it is. It is what it is, David. I was very respectful and responsive to your questions yesterday.

DAVID: All right, but --

SCOTT: (shaking off his grip) ...I provided you the information I knew based on the facts that were available, and we've been through this pretty thoroughly.

(DAVID glares at SCOTT and folds his arms across his chest. He raises his chin defiantly, challengingly.)

DAVID (smugly): You don't have an answer to this question. All right, one final question.

SCOTT (snapping): Wait, wait, I'm just not going to go back through it again. I'd appreciate it if you'd let me respond fully before you jump in!

(He slams the suitcase shut in frustration. He is breathing heavily, nostrils flaring. They glare at each other. David's lip quivers slightly, but he glares back, resolute.)

DAVID: I understand that, but I'm not getting answers here, Scott. Everybody knows what is an answer and what is not an answer!

SCOTT (pointing a finger warningly): David, now you want to make this about you, and it's not about you, it's about what happened. And that's what I'm trying to --

DAVID: I'm sorry that you feel that way, but that's not what I'm trying to do!

SCOTT: You don't have to yell!

DAVID (yelling): I will yell! If you -- take shots at me personally -- which I don't appreciate -- I will raise my voice! Because that's wrong!

SCOTT: Calm down, Dave, calm down!

DAVID (screaming): I'LL CALM DOWN WHEN I FEEL LIKE CALMING DOWN!

(DAVID swipes at the air with the bottle, clumsily. Alcohol sloshes over into the air, onto his hand. It shocks him from the moment. They stare at each other.

SCOTT crosses to him slowly, gently takes his hand. Tenderly, he dries it with his sleeve, holding DAVID's eyes. DAVID is still, holding his breath. SCOTT takes the bottle, gently. DAVID's hand drops. Their eyes remain held.)

SCOTT (softly): I'm sorry you're getting all riled up.

DAVID (pleadingly): Answer the question.

(SCOTT looks at DAVID for a moment, vulnerable before him. At that moment, he seems as though he'd burst if he could only give DAVID the answers he's looking for. But, the moment passes. He shakes his head, and walks back over to the bed, by the suitcase. Gently, but decisively, he lifts the lid.)

SCOTT: I have answered the question.

(DAVID stands, mute. The gulf between them is suddenly huge. He walks over to SCOTT, stops, looks at him. SCOTT looks back. With a swift and sudden motion, DAVID grabs the bottle back. He strides to the doorway, turning around for dramatic effect, chin high and proud. He points at SCOTT.)

DAVID: I'll calm down when I feel like calming down.

(With a flourish, he turns and leaves the room. Offstage we hear a sound: the bottle smashing. SCOTT has stood motionless throughout this final exchange. He turns slowly to the suitcase, reaches inside, and picks up the book. He looks at it for a moment, and then puts it back in the suitcase. He picks up a sweater and folds it. He continues to pack as the lights go down.)

"I take it you missed the bird"

2006-02-16T07:23:00.000-08:00

I don't think Brit Hume was trying to be funny here, but that is nonetheless one of the greatest deadpan lines I've ever read.

Less funny is what Cheney reveals about his disrespect for the press in the following exchange:

HUME: Well, did it occur to you that sooner was -- I mean, the one thing that we've all kind of learned over the last several decades is that if something like this happens, as a rule sooner is better.

THE VICE PRESIDENT: Well, if it's accurate. If it's accurate. And this is a complicated story.

HUME: But there were some things you knew. I mean, you knew the man had been shot, you knew he was injured, you knew he was in the hospital, and you knew you'd shot him.

THE VICE PRESIDENT: Correct.

HUME: And you knew certainly by sometime that evening that the relevant members of his family had been called. I realize you didn't know the outcome, and you could argue that you don't know the outcome today, really, finally.

THE VICE PRESIDENT: As we saw, if we'd put out a report Saturday night on what we heard then -- one report came in that said, superficial injuries. If we'd gone with a statement at that point, we'd have been wrong. And it was also important, I thought, to get the story out as accurately as possible, and this is a complicated story that, frankly, most reporters would never have dealt with before... I still think that the accuracy was enormously important.

This is a COMPLICATED story? That most reporters, simpletons that they are, would fail to grasp? Please. I believe it was Cheney's "expert" point person Katharine Armstrong who merrily spinned it as Whittington being "peppered pretty good." Indeed. The press covers items with a hell of a lot more nuance than this. And they usually don't need 18 hours to get up to speed.

Cheney made a big deal about accuracy in the interview, dropping "accurate" six times and "accuracy" twice, usually in the context of how important it was to make sure the silly press didn't get it wrong.

Here's my favorite little nugget: "Speed has become sort of a driving force, lots of time at the expense of accuracy." Hm. Sorta sounds like something Joseph Wilson said once.

The Cheney Interview [FishbowlDC]

Instead, Rumsfeld and Chertoff favor decrees etched into stone tablets or hand-calligraphied parchment scrolls delivered via pony express

2006-02-15T15:11:00.000-08:00

Newsweek terrier Mark Hosenball, the ying to Michael Isikoff's investigative yang, has a pretty shocking revelation today: when the House committee investigating the administration's response to Hurricane Katrina requested responses e-mails from Donald Rumsfeld and Michael Chertoff documenting their response to the hurricane, no such emails were turned over. Why? As it turns out, Rumsfeld and Chertoff don't use email.

Who doesn't use email these days? How can Rumsfeld and Chertoff not use this staple of modern communication? "Feh," say their offices. "We phone it in or walk the news on over. We're good." Of course, anyone who's ever been distracted by an email (or, heaven forbid, the incursions of Google Chat) knows that email can sometimes be a productivity drain. So maybe Rumsfeld and Chertoff are actually being efficient?

Not so, says go-to disaster preparedness expert Irwin Redlener of Columbia University: "It's almost inconceivable in 2006 for officials at that level of government not to be directly connected to systems of communications."

Hmm. Too bad they had no warning that a crisis might strike in Louisiana at any time. Oh, wait.

Perspective: Britney Spears' song "E-Mail My Heart" was released in 1999. It's 2006.

They Haven't Got Mail [Newsweek]

Being peppered is so inconvenient

2006-02-15T11:00:00.000-08:00

Fellow Hunter Shot by Cheney Suffers Setback [NYT]

Setback? Here's an alternative headline: "78-Year Old Man Has Heart Attack Because He Was Shot In The Heart." Just a suggestion.

Vive le Canada!

2006-02-14T01:21:00.000-08:00

Best thing I've ever seen: Worth 1000.com has a series of photoshopping contests, including this one: If Canadians ruled the earth! Thanks to Canadian Cory Doctorow at BoingBoing for sharing. Kiwis are delicious, too.

If Canadians Ruled The Earth [Worth 1000]

Gettin' bloggy with it

2006-02-14T01:00:00.000-08:00

Clive Thompson is Canadian.

Tom Ford's skeevy, lecherous Vanity Fair

2006-02-14T00:31:00.000-08:00

Ew. There are so many things about the new Vanity Fair cover that make me uncomfortable, I don't know where to start. It might be that, for a change, VF's cover girls are not, er, over-clothed. Scarlett Johansson and Keira Knightley join last month's cover girl Lindsay Lohan in the buff (from the LiLo portfolio inside), along with Naomi Watts (in a slip), Jennifer Aniston (in a dress shirt sans bottoms), Kate Moss (avec nipple), and Brad Pitt and Jude Law. Oh, wait. Even better, on the inside they've got Angelina Jolie ass-up in the bathtub, and George Clooney buck naked as he busily directs fully-clothed women on a film set. Oh, wait.

Also, I am neither the first to comment on it nor the first to be skeeved out by it, but Tom Ford sniffing rapturously at Keira Knightley? Ew. (And it makes no difference that Tom's gay, just as it surely would make no difference to him if Keira and Scarlett were lesbians).

At least Vanity Fair was able to snag renowned Vietnam-era war photographer Peter Arnett to join in on the shoot. Oh, wait.

Vanity Fair Loves a Naked Lady! [PaperMag]
Nude Photos That Are Truly Revealing [LATimes]
Vanity Fair: Kate Moss Nipple Alert [FishbowlNY]

UPDATE: Rebecca Traister's spot-on analysis at Salon:
Topless bodies found in brainless magazine [Salon]

*Yes, I am well aware that I live in a glass house. Throw ye your stones. Tom Ford sniffing Keira Knightley is still gross.

Spinning Abortion and the State of the Union

2006-02-14T00:12:00.000-08:00

(Yes, I know it was two weeks ago, but that coincided with my being blogless and frankly, I thought I'd see this somewhere. I haven't. So, two weeks later, here it is.)

"There are fewer abortions in America than at any point in the last three decades."

Whoever wrote that line was a master. It's masterful spin. Why? Because it provides a nugget of information with NO context and makes it sound like a positive thing, thus subtly underscoring every right-wing argument against Roe v. Wade and in favor of Samuel Alito's confirmation (yes, remember that? Two weeks ago, that was very fresh).

Of course, this information is meaningless. Fewer abortions. Does this mean there are fewer women seeking abortions who are actually getting them? Is the number of pregnancies down correspondingly, or up? How about the number of abortions performed on Americans outside America, have those gone down? Or up? What about women who "decide" to have babies because it's too late to perform an abortion safely, maybe because they were stonewalled, or denied the morning-after pill?

If these numbers mean that more effective contraception is being used, great. If they are a reflection of an eroding right to choose, not so great. Without context for this assertion, it's nothing more than spin, from the President, who spent all of three seconds one of the most galvanizing issues of recent months.

I just thought that should be said. We now return to current news stories, like what the White House knew about Katrina, Tom DeLay's appointment to the committee which will be examining his relationship with Jack Abramoff, and Cheney shooting a guy.

''Fortunately, the vice president has got a lot of medical people around him."

2006-02-12T14:17:00.000-08:00

Less fortunately, HE SHOT SOMEONE.

Although victim Harry Whittington, 78, "got peppered pretty good," (aka was shot in the face, neck and chest), he's going to be fine. Which is no doubt a relief for the vice president; after all, it could have cost him $6,000.

Cheney Accidentally Shoots Fellow Hunter [AP]

Google + Chat = Invasion of Privacy

2006-02-11T12:46:00.000-08:00

Earlier this week I logged into my Gmail and saw this message: "New! Chat is coming soon." I logged in and noticed a little balloon icon in my email folders. Fine. No biggie. Then a little box popped up. Hi! I had an IM. Then I had another. Hi again! And another. And another. And another. No joke. Little orange boxes were popping up everywhere. Some were from frequent correspondents, others were, I'm sure, inspired by random acquaintances looking at the easily-accessible list of who happened to be online. Upshot: If you have Gmail, and you're online, anyone else with a Gmail account to whom you have ever sent an email can see when you're online and drop you an IM.

There was a lot of grousing about Gmail and privacy invasion when Google revealed that it would run ads tied directly to content. I don't much care about that; I find it amusing to see what the trolling Google-bot comes up with (certain emails inspire much unintentional hilarity). However, this I find annoying and intrusive. I did not opt in, I did not designate specific contacts as buddies, and I did not invite anyone to IM me through Gmail. Yet yesterday, that capability was made suddenly available, wehther I liked it or not. Don't care to hear from X, Y or Z? Tough luck. Google has shifted the burden to you.

Consider if you'd blocked some skeevy guy on AIM. But, you'd emailed. Suddenly he sees you're online via Gmail and drops you a note. It puts the onus of rejection on you. Now, whether or not you should be a grown-up and tell him you're just not into him is one thing, but frankly, that's not Google's decision to make (honestly, you're great. Things are just really busy right now).

Other applications allow you to set your contacts and ease in according to your comfort level. You can switch yourself on and off or block users. Why should Google just bust in there and suddenly broadcast to the world that you're online and available? I have HUNDREDS of contacts in my Gmail. I do not have time to switch people off. And I don't care to switch myself to invisible because there ARE people I'd like to hear from. And I would have happily opted-in to do so, given that choice. Google is like a big ol' puppy, leaping into the fray with it's tongue hanging out and slobbering all over you. Yes, honey, you're very cute but please, Mommy's busy now. Ew. Now I have spit all over my leg.

I'm not saying Google Chat isn't a great application. It is, and smart -- it's obviously convenient and synergistic to have chat and email available in one platform, and digital packrat that I am I love the automatic archive feature (so does the Unofficial Google Blog, aka the Google Watchblog). But just because it's great doesn't mean I have to like it, or want it, or have the time to deal with it right now.

It's true, a big part of customer satisfaction is convenience. But equally important in that equation is choice.

Chat + Email = Crazy Delicious [GoogleBlog]
REVIEW: Google Gmail Chat [The Unofficial Google Weblog]

Thoughts on the Daily/A Gossip's ruminations/Rendered in haiku

2006-02-09T01:08:00.000-08:00

er, jacob weisberg
sometimes i open my mouth
without thinking first

go south, young blogger:
Hey, Mr. Antarctica
I'm waiting. Call me.

photog: "give me ice!"
we're professionals, dammit.
we gave him his ice.

wearing a towel:
some things seem like good ideas
at the time. ah, well.

johnny knoxville: if
loving him is wrong, then i
don't want to be right.

wineglass of DC
seven smart and savvy chicks
feh, it was worth it

Blogger Pajama Party [Fashion Week Daily]

Why Tomatoes?

2006-02-08T08:46:00.000-08:00

Welcome to my impromptu new blog. After leaving FishbowlNY last week, I found I still had opinions, and decided to continue to express them here (just in time for this URL to be published in Fashion Week Daily!). I actually set this blog up a while ago when I was experimenting with DYI-blogging. I vacillated between the deliciousness of tomatoes, pickles and yams. Although I would like this blog to be crisp and salty, like a tasty pickle (and really, who doesn't love yams?), I settled on tomatoes because I truthfully think they are the best food on earth, sweet and delicious and refreshing and wholesome and versatile and bursting with all manner of goodness. I also dig how they coyly straddle that blurry line between fruit and vegetable. Mysterious and complicated, they refuse to be defined. "Do not put us in a box, little man," they say. "Our sweetness can be neither quantified nor contained. We are tomatoes, and we are all things to all people." Yeah. You try going with yams after THAT.

Fun With New Yorker Cartoons, Part II

2006-02-06T22:07:00.000-08:00

"I can't believe you're freaking out over a little blood!"

Related:
Fun With New Yorker Cartoons [FishbowlNY]

It feels like a news round-up post is long overdue

2005-10-24T02:24:00.000-07:00

...but doesn't it always?

"Lunch At Estatorio Milos" doesn't quite have the same ring. Table 5 regular Michael Wolff tried to get a table at Michael's last Wednesday only to be told it was full. What's up with that? Wednesdays must be popular. [NYP]

Correctimundo! Over at Regret The Error they're cranky that Salon's redesign bumped the "Corrections" link from the homepage. Now you have to go searching for it in the small-print "Contact & Help" section. Says RTE: "Bottom line: When a publication removes a link to its corrections during a redesign, it suggests that corrections aren't seen as an important piece of content." We'd venture to say that's correct and, we bet, so would the Fonz.[RTE]

"Can this nomination be justified?" I don't know, but it can be blogged, and how - George Will's Washington Post article on the Harriet Miers SCOTUS nom is Technorati's most popular article -- for now. Oh, Technorati, you fickle, fickle vixen. [WaPo]

This just in: sleep is good for you. Apparently getting less sleep not only makes you more tired, but it is also more likely to make you sick and fat. Honestly, you're not that important -- the world will still be there when you wake up. Step AWAY from the computer. Now then, what's on TV? [WaPo]

"What else rhymes with 'Godless unpatriotic slayers of unborn children?'" Slate brings us the ultra-abysmal poetry of Roy Moore, former Alabama Supreme Court chief justice-turned gubernatorial candidate (he's the guy who refused to remove the Ten Commandments monument from inside his courthouse, making him a hero of the Christian Right). Timothy Noah shares Moore's poetry with us. We'd say don't quit your day job, except if his day job ends up being Governor of Alabama. [Slate]

Headline: "DeLay wants charges dismissed." Related: "Frist wants people to focus on DeLay."[CBS.com]

Thirteen problems but a heightened terror alert ain't one: On "Countdown" late last week Keith Olbermann noticed an interesting coincidence: on thirteen occasions when headlines reflected negatively on the White House, "there has been some sudden credible terror threat somewhere in this country." You know what? I'd rather 'coincidental' than 'real'. [TVNewser]

A couch to hang a dream on... Remember how we mentioned that the Daily Show set was being auctioned off on eBay? The group that bought it plans to tour it 'round the country so fans may come forth and worship. God, I'm glad I'm not an obsessive geek like that. [Wired]

"Red Cross, why is your charity so gay?" Speaking of Jon Stewart, according to Liz Smith he's been tapped to emcee the 100th anniversary of the NYC American Red Cross on October 205h, honoring Bill Clinton. We think Clinton is unlikely to declare "fit" to be "the new rich", so he's probably safe. [NYP]